幫我改一下這篇托福口語第一題的語法錯誤

題目：

幫我改一下這篇托福口語第一題的語法錯誤
well,Zhenghua shopping center is my pavorite place.
first,my home is near this shopping center.i walk there just need 10 minutes.but if i go anther place to shop,i have to drive my car cause this place is far away from my home,with the bad trafficondition,it will takes me 1 hour to there.it's terrible!so shopping in the Zhuanghua will save me much time.
what's more,Zhuanghua shopping center is always discount.if i buy a t shirt in anther place,it may charge 100 dollars,but in Zhenghua,just 50 dollars i can take it home.you konw i am a student,i have no independent source of income,my bill gonna kill me if i shopping in anther place,but in zhanghua,i won't run out of my budget.
that's why i like this place to shop for clothes.

解答：

額……我口語23說點意見啊,雖然不高,但是我覺著托福口語只要有邏輯,發音清晰,就能拿到22左右的分數,對於中國人也湊合了吧
所以啊,你這個邏輯也有問題,雖然我覺著模版不是好東西,但是一點規矩都沒有也不好啊
第一個沒問題說Zhenghua shopping center is my pavorite place,這個簡潔的回答了題目,不錯
之後呢,我建議還是來一句總說啊,比如I always had a good time there之類的吧,這一句不說也可以
接下來一定說,I like that place for the following reasons.
然後再分說,一定有連接詞,for one thing, at first, firstly, on one hand……,接下來一定說一下你的第一個原因是什麼,要有一個總說,比如你的第一點就是doing shopping there will save me a lot of time. 然後解釋啊,because zhuanghua shopping center is near my home, going there by feet takes me only 10 minutes. In contrast, another shopping mall is half an hour's drive away from my house.之後你那個what's more 也沒有問題,挺好的.但還是要有總說, the goods there is cheaper than these in other places. 再解釋,for example, a T-shirt there is 50 dollars instead of 100 dollars in other shopping malls.
最後那個總結可以,不過時間不夠的話沒有也可以
至於你說的語法錯誤啊,你看著我的自己改改吧.還有額,托福口語說小十句話就夠了吧……時間不夠啊,樓下那個太長了……
嗯,有幫助請採納~不懂歡迎追問~~