托福作文求修改~People attend college or university for many differe

題目：

托福作文求修改~
People attend college or university for many different reason(for examle,new experiences,career preparation,increased knowledge).Why do you think people attend college or university?
Nowadays,most of us attend college or university for career preparation.However,the acquisitions you might obtain during your college years will not only help you to get an ideal job when you graduate,but also allow you to meet with success in the long run.Such as an effective diploma,companionship with your classmates and professinal knowledge.All of these will keep you being sure of yourself.
First of all,getting an effective diploma can always bring you a well beginning.Because a college diploma is always accepted by employers as proof of competence in a given field.For example,if you held a diploma of a superexcellent college after having learning economic for years,you might easily get employed by a large company in the Wall Street which can provide you much more opportunities to succeed.So you can even simply say that it is a diploma that lead a series of good luck.
Secondly,building steadfast companionship with you college classmates will keep you be sitting pretty in your work.For your classmates,who select the same coure as you,are very likely to be your profession after graduating.For instance,if you became a besinessman,it would be much more easily for you to get investment from one of your classmates who had became an investor of a large company; or if you found a job as a politician,you might be able to persuade another important politician,as your college classmate,to be your political with ease.On the other hand,they can also help you during your hard time.
Finally,learning professional knowledge always make you be competent for your career.whenever you face trouble in your work,professional knowledge can calm you down and help you to solve problem sensibly and effectively.As a professinal technician,for instance,you will be quite equal to the sudden occasion with confidence as you were fully acquainted with the technique needed to overcome the difficulties.This will eventually make you succeed in your career.
我完全不會寫作文..>
弱弱的問一句：我還有救麼、？...

解答：

有些拼寫錯誤,你需改正先.
感覺寫的有些零亂,內容不是很充實.
可以在突出一下大學的重要性-----職業生涯開始前的一次綜合性培訓.
if you were a besinessman,it might be more easilier for you to get investment from one of your classmates who had became an investor of a large company;