請各位英語高手幫我看一下這篇文章的語法錯誤,並指出以便改正

題目：

請各位英語高手幫我看一下這篇文章的語法錯誤,並指出以便改正
My dream job
I'm going to be a doctor in the future,just like my mom and dad.
I think doctor is a great job,doctor can save many people's life.I want to be this person.
If Iwant to ba a good doctor,firstly,I musy learn harder in shcool.Secondly,I should keep fit,because I think a docotor want to make patiens to be healthy,he should have a good body.But I think these are not enough.
So,I'll learn about illness.For exampel:When I have a cold,what medicine can I eat?And I 'll go to hospital and learn about hou to look after patients.Then,I'm going to know hou to keep fit,like eat much more vegetables,and tell my parents and friend.
If Iknow those,I can take care of my friends and my parents,everybody beside me are going to be healthy.
I hope there are no illness in the world,everybody is healthyand happy every day!

解答：

Life的複數 是 lives.
我想做這樣的人是：i want to be people like that.
musy 寫錯 must
hard 就可以了,或者用 more hard,harder 不對.
because I think 改成 if
have a good body 是中國的表達方式,應該改成：keep fit.
感冒是 catch a cold.吃藥用 take 不用 eat
how to ,how 寫錯了
like eat much more vegetables 不用like ,用 such as 或 for example
those 改成 that
beside是旁邊的意思,身邊的人應該用 everybody around me
好可愛的小盆友啊,加油,寫的不錯
再給你補一篇好一些的,你拿去看一看,
My Dream Job
I want to be a doctor when I grow up,just like Mom and Dad.
In my opinion,doctor is a great job,because doctor can save many people's lives.I want to be people like that.
To be a good doctor,I must study hard at shcool firstly.Secondly,I should keep fit；I think a docotor who want to make his patiens healthy should be healthy of himself.But these are still not enough.
I should learn about illness,too.For exampel,When I catch a cold,what medicine should I take?Further,I 'll go to hospital to learn about looking after patients.What's more,I'm planing going to learn hou to keep fit,such as eating much more vegetables etc,and tell it to my parents and friends.
If I know that,I would be able to take care of my friends and my parents.Everybody around me will be healthy.
I hope illness will disappear in the world,everybody will be healthy and happy everyday!