來個英語帝幫我看看這篇文章有沒有什麼語法錯誤.

題目：

來個英語帝幫我看看這篇文章有沒有什麼語法錯誤.
我要演講,於是在網上東拼西湊了幾段,加了幾句過渡句.問下飲食習慣怎麼說,是food habit?the habit of food 好吧我果然是個英語廢柴=A=...順便問一下,這句Finally I』d like to share some celebrities』views to afternoon tea with you怎麼看怎麼怪,求指教~
Today,let me tell you something about the British food culture .
First I』d like to talk about their habits of food
It is a long way from the place of work or school to home.The Britsh people tend to have a big breakfast before they go to work and the meal at mid-day is not spent with the members of the family but with workmates or schoolmates.Lunch is normally eaten between 12.30 pm and 1.30pm.Most people finish work at five thirty.It often takes at least an hour to get home from the school or workplace so people tend to eat their evening meal between 6.30pm and 8pm.
On Sundays people don't have to work so they take the opportunity to eat together with their family.Sunday lunch is usually the best meal of the week and many of the meals which are considered typically British are eaten for Sunday lunch.For example roast beef and pudding.
The most famous meal in Britain could be the traditional breakfast.What makes it so popular with British people and visitors alike?
British Breakfast,not,only,the toast with iam but also,sausage,bacon,mushroom,tomato,scone,baked beans and so on .
Afternoon tea is aslo imortant to the britishes.
Traditional afternoon tea consists of a selection of daintysandwiches scones served with clotted cream and preserves.Cakes and pastries are also served.
Finally I』d like to share some celebrities』views to afternoon tea with you
If you are cold,tea will warm you,
If you are too heated,it will cool you,
If you are depressed,it will cheer you,
If you are exhausted,it will calm you

解答：

Lunch is normally eaten between 12.30 pm and 1.30pm.
這句改成：They have lunch between 12:30pm and 1:30.
Most people finish work at five thirty.
這句應該是Most people finish working at five thirty.這裡是finish doing sth.
so people tend to eat their evening meal between 6.30pm and 8pm.
這句應該改成So people tend to have supper
between 6:30 and 8:00.
On Sundays people don't have to work so they take the opportunity to eat together with their family.
這句話的表述不好,改成They have a rest on sundays,so they take advantage of the opportunity to enjoy the food together with thier family.
Sunday lunch is usually the best meal of the week and many of the meals which are considered typically British are eaten for Sunday lunch. For example roast beef and pudding.
這句話表達混亂,應該這樣改：It is the best meal for them to enjoy the food tegether with their family and roast beef and pudding usually are considered as the most typical food for them.
British Breakfast,not,only,the toast with iam but also,sausage,bacon, mushroom,tomato,scone,baked beans and so on .
這句缺少成分,改成：British breakfast , not only have the toast and iam,but also have bacon,mushroom ,tomato, scone, baked beans and so on.
Afternoon tea is aslo imortant to the britishes.
Traditional afternoon tea consists of a selection of daintysandwiches scones served with clotted cream and preserves. Cakes and pastries are also served.
你這段想要表達下午茶對英國人很重要,但是下面寫的並不是這樣,而是下午茶的構成.你自己想想,再作改正.
Finally I』d like to share some celebrities』views to afternoon tea with you.
這句話不對,改成Finally, I'd like to share some celebrities' views with afternoon tea to you as follows,
還有飲食習慣是the habits of food.
最後演講開頭口語：
Dear my teachers and Dear my classmates,
I'm glad to be here for make a speech and thank for your attention.
我個人的建議：你的語法不好,語感也不怎麼好,多看一些語法書,有什麼不懂的就多問,多背誦一些英語文章,對你的英語提高是大有長進.
祝你學習進步.